Skin on Skin

Ah…is there anything better?  I’m not even talking about the sensation of purely sexual contact but more full body embraces, cuddles, hugs, spooning.  Ah!

I think one of things I miss most about being single is the lack of hugs, little touches and of course, kisses.  Don’t get me wrong, there was none of that for the last few years of my marriage aside from my ex-husbands’ obligatory kiss on the cheek when he left for work, which eventually irritated me.  And even one thing I admittedly miss about church is all of the hugging that goes on.  I do still get some daily hugs since I am fortunate that at least my youngest kiddo hasn’t gotten to the “it’s not cool to hug mom at this age” stage, but while kid and friend touch feels amazing, it is still vastly different from the touch of a man.    

I find deep hugs, smoldering kisses and full body embraces far more intimate that just the act of sex itself and possibly more satisfying.  Both Tantric sex and the practices of the Kama Sutra include this as part of their instructions because it increases arousal, desire and intimacy.  They include this sort of touch both before and after the act of intercourse itself, sign me up!  Skin on Skin hugging could easily become my drug of choice…I might even give up my current one for it…coffee. 

On a scientific level, hugging releases oxytocin and is nicknamed “the most amazing molecule in the world” and the “love molecule.”   Oxytocin can be released through hugging, hand-shaking, bodily contact of any kind and it floods our bodies during orgasm.  Do you know what amazing things it can do for us?  It is a diet aid, antidepressant, reduces stress by reducing cortisol and blood pressure, as well as decreases pain.  It is shown to improve several functions of the GI tract and increases digestion.  It also helps women during Labor and Delivery and is released during breast feeding.  Emotionally, it induces optimism, increases self-esteem, builds trust and decreases social anxiety. 

In reference to partners, It increases the desire for couples to gaze at each other (that would explain a LOT), creates arousal and maintains erections.  It’s like the sexual aid that keeps on giving back to itself.  One of the most interesting studies they’ve done on Oxytocin is that it increases generosity…by up to 80%!  They were referring to generosity of material things or giving someone a helping hand, but back to my definition of great love and sex as defined by both submitting to each other, a different act of generosity, isn’t oxytocin bound to make us better lovers and better people?  It all comes full circle.  One article I read said it makes us human.

For me, lying naked in the arms of a special man, embracing so completely you can’t get enough of him, feeling his warm breath in my ear, being together in the most vulnerable way possible…skin on skin… is both simply and breathtakingly beautiful.  It brings fulfilling joy that very well might make me become addicted to skin on skin.