Boy Toy Joy!

Before I was a midlife single gal, I believed what they portrayed on TV about Cougars.  I was under the belief that Cougars preferred younger men so the arm candy would raise their social status and that it was usually some sort of higher form of prostitution.  The young man did favors…those of a sexual nature and otherwise…in exchange for a comfortable life while he chased his own dreams without the weight of his own financial obligations.  That’s mostly what we see on TV anyway.

It wasn’t long before I was dating again that I realized this was all wrong.  For every one man my age who has approached me online or in person, I’ve been approached by an equal number of men 10-25 years my junior.  I constantly hear from young college boys who say they just aren’t into girls their age or they want to be with an experienced woman.  Cynics say that younger men see older women as easy and that is likely true of some of them.   I think most young guys realize that we know a thing or two in the bedroom and they want to experience what it’s like to be with a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality.   For me, there is still such a thing as too young, no matter the reason.

My little journey with my Boy Toy wasn’t entirely intentional, well, I was looking for a play thing, but not one so much younger than I.  I have long bragged about midlife men being such amazing lovers because they aren’t in a hurry, they have learned how to please a woman (hopefully)and they’ve learned to gain utter pleasure by experiencing their woman’s pleasure.  So honestly, I was quite happy with my previous similar-aged lovers.

My path to Boy Toy all started when I was bored one day.  Despite all the crazy stories in the news, I’ve had great success on finding some real quality men on the craigslist personals.  If you read my blog about my first date in 20 years, you know I stumbled upon dating again after looking for a desk on craigslist, so sometimes you have to return to your roots.  Now, I purposefully stay away from the casual encounters section…well, unless I’m trying to entertain myself…you can’t make that shit up!  I had run several ads in the relationship section, as well as the strictly platonic section, too.  However, I always sorta wondered when I would read the casual sex ads just WHO would answer them? 

Just to give you an example of one of my favorite ads, which was quietly nestled between men looking for lactating women or lunch time cheaters, I found an ad I still laugh about today.  It was for a man offering to orally please a woman with nothing expected in return.  He said to leave the door unlocked and email directions to the bedroom.  He would enter the room and the foot of the bed, make you have an orgasm and then leave…but oh yeah, please leave milk and cookies on the nightstand!  My friends and I have countless milk and cookies jokes from this.  This guy was like a Santa of a different mindset I guess…still giving gifts, but enjoying a snack for his trouble!   See…you can’t make this shit up!

So back to my bored Wednesday…I decided I would run an ad just to see how men replied.  I had a feeling I would be inundated with penis pictures and lewd promises but actually, I only got one such picture and not really any lewd emails, just men bragging so I would choose them.  Honestly, I had no idea if I would reply to even one….I was just curious, and of course, bored.  I’m like that if you haven’t figured it out by now. ..ever-curious of midlife dating in all forms and fashions!

Here’s the Ad:

“Do you know your way around a woman’s body?  Are you fond of long slow kisses and not thinking of rushing to the next thing but enjoying the moment?  Would you like a woman that enjoys sex and is an enthusiastic, expressive partner who is as into your pleasure as her own?  Then please apply here.” 

It went on to say you had to have a job, not be married, enjoy sexting and have some available time.  It said to NOT send a pic of your ‘finer parts’ and that I wouldn’t have sex with them until I had met them a few times and trusted them.

Actually most of the men who replied seemed fairly decent.   I had three I talked to a bit and decided I would meet.  One of them asked me out for that Friday night…we can call him “close call” as I think he really was a scumbag, but both of my girlfriends liked him the best when we were going through the replies.  However, two hours before the date, he told me had a problem at work and was going to have to reschedule.  He tried for the following night but I was seeing Timid Tom on Saturday and told him that Tom was leading in my search so I would likely have the position filled once I met him anyway.   I had also been talking to Boy Toy, but because of his age, I hadn’t agreed to meet up with him just yet.  So when “close call” cancelled, I asked Boy Toy if could meet me later and he agreed! 

Close Call ended up texting me…from home…at the exact time we were supposed to meet asking me to come to his house and have sex with him.  I said, dude, you have not been paying attention.  Obviously, I never would meet him, but he still texts me every couple of months and tries again.  Shameful.   Timid Tom will be for another blog perhaps…back to Boy Toy.

We met up at a Mexican restaurant.  Boy Toy was a big strapping young man who had played football in high school, went on to be in the coast guard and was now a welder.  Girls…if you’re looking for a friend with benefits only, getting a man who is good with his hands should definitely be at the top of your wish list!  

We had a great chat and it wasn’t long before I wished I could take the table between us and throw it to the side, straddle his lap and kiss him!  There was palpable chemistry.   Of course I didn’t do that but it would have been fun!  We finished our drinks and he walked me to my Mini-van, god I hated that thing (actually Timid Tom helped me get rid of it, thankfully!)  Leaning against my mommy van, he gave me some amazingly raw kisses with these soft and pillowy lips of his.  Oh yes…he was definitely friends with benefits material and I was content to choose him for the job. 

Although I didn’t know it just yet, Boy Toy is the one man I’ve met so far who has a stronger sex drive than I do…and just how much younger is he?  I thought it was only 9 years, only to find out a few weeks later he was actually 12 years younger!   He didn’t lie about his age, I just misremembered when reading those 200+ emails I got from my ad.  As the kisses deepened and his arousal pressed up against me while I was splayed against my mini-van door,   there was no denying we were going to be a good sexual chemistry match!  My bored Wednesday experiment had just exploded into a fireball of passion…to find out more about some of our sexcapades…tune in for my next blog!